Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize