he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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