I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
