i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
