Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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