in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
