you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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