Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
