if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
