well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
