I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
