I wish I could punch you in the face.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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