I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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