nut hugger
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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