You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
