my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
