glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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