i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
