90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
