you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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