I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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