At least make sure they are 18
Why
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
