im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
