Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
