This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
