all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
