the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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