There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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