I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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