i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
