Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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