For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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