There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dick very happy bro
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
