it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize