Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
