I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
