Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
