I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
