she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
