Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
