I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
