was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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