SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
