Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
