I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
