Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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