I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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