I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize