nut hugger
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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