Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
