the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
