I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize